Hermione's a what?
by veeuh
Summary: Harry's afraid of heights, Ron's a perv, Hermione is obsessed with fencing and Harry and Ron love her. Typical. But Hermione's got a secret destiny that she herself doesnt know of. R&R please. My first fic.
1. Ch 1 It begins

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. One

It begins

(A/N: hahaha I love the title)

Hermione put down her book. She couldn't concentrate, not even on her trusty _Hogwarts: A History_. An odd…calling sort of feeling had popped up in the back of her head this morning, somewhere in the east. Too late to sneak out and see what it was though. Darn. Tomorrow was her birthday anyway. She didn't want **anything **distracting her from her sweet sixteenth. Think about Harry. Mmm. Now he's distracting. Too bad she likes that girl, Hoe. Cho. Same thing. Ack its 12:30. Sleep. Now.

Hermione woke to giggles. Lav pounced on her. Ouch. Now she was awake.

Lavender, squealing- Mione Happy Birthday! Come on, get up, I'll give you a makeover!

Hermione let herself be led over to the mirror and product-ified by Lav and her roomies. After about and hour Hermione had had enough. She sighed and looked into the mirror to see what damage her roomies had done. And gasped. (A/N: wow that's lame. Don't worry it gets better. Ish. And now we travel into the mind of Harry. Continue.)

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Harry blinked. The Hermione entering the common room was definitely NOT the one he was used to. She actually wore makeup (for once), her hair was tamed (he didn't know that was possible), and her clothes were not her usual potato-sack-esque. Must have been Lav's work. Harry glanced at Ron. The idiot was slack-jawed, most likely making new fantasies to add to his collection. Harry shook his head. Ron had a pretty active imagination. Perv.

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The pulling in Hermione's head had gotten more insistent by the hour. She had to find what 'it' was coming from. She looked at her two best friends. Ron had a weird expression on his face and Harry was grimacing. It couldn't be her, her outfit was awesome. All Lav's clothes, of course. She wore a denim mini and a pinkish off the shoulder top. (A/N: bear with me here I have to 'describe the character'.) Harry wore green and Ron had a yellow shirt that clashed nicely with his hair. There was no accounting for taste.

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I better say something Harry thought. Mione had a pained look on her face.

Harry- Happy Birthday Mione

That startled Ron out of whatever sick fantasy he was having. Their presents were both the same: books. Mione was easy to shop for.

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Hermione couldn't get the calling out of her head. It was the weekend, so she, Harry, and Ron had a late breakfast.

Hermione- Want to go for a ride?

Ron- (splurts orange juice all over the table)

What was wrong with him? Oh. _Oh._ The perv.

Hermione- On horses, Ron. Like with saddles and stuff.

Ron just gave her a sheepish grin.

(A/N: zzzzzzzz I know, I know.)

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After getting horses from Hagrid (A/N: yes he had horses. And all the gear they needed. Sue me.) Hermione guided her horse toward the direction of the pulling. After a while they arrived at a long wooden bridge spanning a deep dark and unfriendly looking ravine (think Indiana Jones esque) Strange. Hermione had never seen this on any Hogwarts map.

Harry, worriedly- Um, Mione? Must we ride across this bridge? It looks…dangerous.

Ron, laughing- Woooow. The Harry Potter is afraid of a bridge. This is nothing compared to You-Know-Who!

Harry- True. But I, er, I'm kinda afraid of heights.

Ron, dramatically- THE 'chosen one' is afraid of heights? We're doomed. The world is bloody doomed!

Hermione, annoyed with this whole business- Shut up Ron. Let's go. It can't be that bad, Harry.

When they got to the other side, they heard an ominous snapping behind them. Yup, the bridge had partly fallen down. Never saw that coming.

Ron, moaning- Oh blood and bloody ashes. I TOLD you it was dangerous!

Harry, dryly- no, that would have been me saying that.

Hermione just shook her head. Men.

After a while of riding and miraculously finding a path in the forest on this side of the ravine, something happened. (A/N: FINALLY DAMMIT)

Ron, grunting- Weird bugs here. –Falls off his horse clapping a hand to his neck-

Hermione and Harry, alarmed- RON! (A/N: awww they speak together!)

Hermione rushes to Ron's side (A/N: aww)

Hermione-Ron are you okay?

Ron, his voice slurred- Mione, I jhust fhell out of meh shaddle, clutchin meh neck. No, I am NOT okay. –Goes unconscious-

Harry, stating the obvious- he's just unconscious, Mione. Some kind of dart hit his neck. –Harry winces- Dammit one just hit my leg. Go on, ride ahead and save yourself. I'll try to stop whatever is shooting at us. (A/N: this cracks me up. Gimmie a sec to stop laughing. Whew. So lame)

Hermione runs to her horse and starts galloping away. (A/N: that's right run away and leave your friends like that. So nice of you.) She looked back to see Harry staring after her, then fall next to Ron in a heap. She had to blink hard to stop crying. (A/N: I have to blink hard to stop from crying for laughter. This part is so lame) It wasn't fair! She felt something brush her arm. Then darkness. (A/N: oooo dum dum dum!)

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Wooooooooooooooow. When I wrote this on paper it actually looked okay. Now I see all the weird stuff. But, if you like it, comment plz. Or just comment anyway. I have a couple more chapters but I will only post them if I feel I have enough people actually reading this. Don't worry, the plot gets better too. Believe me. This is going to be a nice long story. So sorry if the plot doesn't advance fast enough for you. Bear with me here.


	2. Ch 2 A whole new world

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. Two

A whole new world

Hermione woke up to low whisperings around her. Her head was still groggy.

Hermione: Harry? Ron? Where am I?

The whispering stopped. She opened her eyes. She was in a beautiful room, (A/N: think Rivendell with very tall ceilings.) and men stood around her. No, not men. These had pointy ears. Elves! Very hot elves. But who ever heard of an ugly elf? What were elves doing in the Forbidden Forest? No, not the forest. This was somewhere else. She felt strangely…home. At least the calling was gone. All the elves bowed to her as she rose, murmuring 'my lady' and such. My lady? Interesting.

Hermione: Um, where am I?

Very hot elf: My Lady, I am called Darion, Prince of all Elfkind. (A/N: lol. Elfkind) Welcome, Lady Hermione.

Hermione: Lady Hermione? I'm no lady!

Very hot Prince Darion (A/N:VHPD-its tiring to write it over and over): My lady, you are the sole daughter and heir of King Allon and Queen Julo, may their souls be saved. I was the next heir to the throne, as you disappeared before they died, but now that you have returned, the throne is yours. And as you're 16 and unmarried, I shall take you for my wife, and we shall rule Elfland forever. (A/N: lol. Elfland.)

Hermione: where are my friends? Are they okay?

VHPD: your…er..companions are quite fine, my lady. They are locked in the dungeons, awaiting their sentence.

Hermione: their sentence?

VHPD: My lady, they are to be punished.

Hermione: for what?

VHPD: For touching the skin of a royal when you are not married and they are not of noble birth, my lady.

Hermione: well, let them go, MY LORD.

VHPD, abashed: let them go, my lady? Surely you..

Hermione: surely I want my friends back, or I won't marry you!

The elves in the room gasped.

VHPD: as you wish, my lady. –nods to elf, who runs off- now my lady there still is the question of your attire. –Hermione looks at her clothes- They're not suitable for a lady. I will have a seamstress make you some more appropriate attire for the court.

At that all the elves, including VHPD, left, bowing and murmuring 'my lady'. When she was alone, a seamstress came in, measured her, and made her new clothes. Apparently, 'appropiate attire' was a long clingy blue dress with long sleeves that had a loop to go over one of her fingers. How she managed not to sweat to death in that THING amazed her. That's when her situation dawned on her. She was a lady! An ELF lady! And she had to marry that prince guy. That wouldn't be too much of a problem. Though she would miss Harry. Maybe she could get him as her servant hehe. And what about her parents? She had never heard of this 'King Allon and Queen Julo'. The grangers were the only family she had ever known. And why had she suddenly 'dissappeared' a long time ago? It was all too much too fast. This was not going to be the birthday she had expected. She lay down to sleep, still imagining Harry's face as she galloped away.

Hm. Short chapter I know. Another one coming up asap k? we will see what happened to ron and harry don't worry. Haha it got kinda annoying to keep writing my lady over and over and over, but I guess I got myself into it. Sigh. Please review!


	3. Ch 3 In the dungeons

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. Tres

Trapped

Harry and Ron, however, were not as well treated. They woke in a dark and wet cell with chains connecting their ankles. They both struggled to stand up and look out of the small window in the door. (A/N: haha sors this made me think of synchronized swimming for some reason…continue.)

Harry, yelling- hey! Is there a guard or something out there? Hello?

Footsteps echoed down the hall.

Person with a gruff voice- Shuddup pretty boy! I'm the only one you'll ever hear for a long time. Hehehe.

It was hard to see in the little amount of light, but the 'person' seemed to be very old with pointy ears

Ron- what the?... are you an elf!

Person soon to be recognized as Groumer- yes I am ye idiot, the name's Groumer. Yew two are waiting a nasty liddle treat for touching the future queen ya know. Naughty naughty!

Ron, yelling- a future queen? We never laid hands on anyone –gets dreamy look on face- except Hermione.

Groumer's face hardened, if that was possible, and growled- ye'll not be speaking my lady's first name like that without the proper respect lad

Then he stalks off, leaving two boys with disbelief on their faces.

Harry (A/N: haha forgot bout him. Sorry.)- Mione's a LADY? An elf? A future queen? Man she's got some explaining to do!

They both sat in silence for a while. Then they heard voices echoing down the hall again. When Groumer unlocked the door to their cell, two young guards (A/N: Groumer and the two guards were very hot, as elves are hot. The boys don't think about that though.) took off the boy's chains and started herding them down the hall.

Groumer, sneering- seems my lady has ordered your release, lads. Lucky you.

The guards led them a long way until they finally came before a large door, which was opened. The room was a huge ballroom with two thrones, and Mione was sitting on one of them in a blue dress next to a young elf. Hmm… Harry thought. Competition. Harry knew he was pretty hot, (A/N: selfconfident little bastard) but this elf just might be a threat to his claim on Mione.

Funny dressed elf- PRESENTING…-looking at Harry and Ron, who gave him their names- HARRY AND RON.

The elf looked baffled that they had no titles yet were allowed in the ballroom. Harry and Ron ignored the elf and walked up to Hermione and started talking at the same time.

Harry-Mione I'm so glad you're okay! Whats with the Lady business?

Ron- Bloody hell Mione! Not like you to hook up behind my back!

Hermione stood up, smiling at Harry, and glaring at Ron.

Hermione- I will visit with you both in my private quarters.

She glided away, leaving the boys standing there with disbelief on their faces. (A/N: they do that a lot.)

Wow I got two reviews in the first 30 minutes since I published the first two chapters. And 12 hits! Yaaay! I love you guys!

Machiavellism- im glad you think its funny. It will take a bit longer to update from now on cuz I already had written the first three chapters. Yay and you put me on your favorites list awsomeness I love you.

Annabelle Deveraux- yay! You love it! I love reviewers like you! I was like………..wow. awesome keep reading and reviewing!


	4. Ch 4 In between

Ch. 4

in between

(or, the stuff i forgot to put in the old chapter 4 that is now chapter 5)

So after Hermione talked about the whole situation to Ron and Harry (who just stood there, gaping) she decided to start planning her wedding. She didn't want Ron there because of his pervish mind but Harry could stay. So Hermione, being the selfish brat she is, took up all of Harry's and VHPD's free time in the elvish castle. VHPD was getting quite annoyed with Hermione and having second thoughts about marrying her. (who wouldnt?) Harry was still deeply but secretly in love with her. Ron was still deeply lusting after her.

----scene----

im sooooooooo sorry i didnt go into much detail about all this i kinda forgot and all so im sorry. read and review!


	5. Ch 5 Rambo Ron

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. Four

Rambo Ron

or

In which there is much capitals and exclamation points

(A/N:Finally, Ron's POV! yay ive been looking forward to this...bwahaha)

Ron was in a rage. Harry had blown off all their plans to go and hang with Hermione. Every single plan. Even the elvish dancers. mmm. But not even those exellent dancers could take his mind off of Hermione. Why couldn't he get her? No, SHE was enamored with her two lovesick pets, Hairy Potty and Prince Charming.It wasnt fair! Just because Ron wasnt on the Teen Wizard hottie list (HARRY was, of course) doesn't mean he wasnt good enough! But...if Ron ELIMINATED the competition, Hermione would finally see his sexyness. (A/N: hahahaha Ron...sexy? hahahahha) Dammit he WOULD have Hermione for his own. Even if he had to hurt his FORMER best friend, Harry. (A/N: dum dum dum!)

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-------------(in the ballroom)---------------------

Harry: I don't know, Mione, I feel kinda guilty about ignoring Ron. I think he will do something pretty drastic soon if we dont pay any attention to him.

Hermione, yelling: BUT I WANT FENCING AT MYYYYYY WEDDING!

VHPD, bored: Darling, I'm SURE we can arrange that. And please don't yell, it's not proper for a lady to raise her voice.

HERMIONE: I DONT CARE WHAT"S "PROPER", VHPD! I"LL DO WHATEVER I DARN WELL PLEASE!

Harry, concerned: Mione, you seen stressed. (A/N: no duh) Maybe you should put off the wedding...

HERMIONE: NO I WILL NOT PUT OFF MYYYY WEDDING! I WANT TO SEE SOME FENCING!

VHPD, abashed (A/N: lol. i love that word. abashed. lol.): Is fencing the only reason you're marrying me? To watch fencing!

Hermione, finally talking in a normal voice: er...um...well, kinda...

VHPD, very Star Wars esque: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Harry: You know, Hermione, you don't need a wedding to watch fencing. Heck, me and Ron could fence right here right now if you want.

Hermione, yelling again: YES. FIND RON NOWWWWWWWWWWW!

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-------------------(on the fencing field) A/N: yes, the elves had a fencing field. lol.)-----------------

Ron, running into the field: You PAGED, my LADY?

Hermione, still yelling and by now quite hoarse: YES. YOU SHALL FENCE HARRY NOW!

Ron, smiling evilly: with pleasure.

(A/N: now, i wont pretend im an expert at fencing and tell you now that i really dont know a thing about it so this will be a pretty sad match for you fencing people. im sorry.)

commentator: aaaaaaaaaaaaand Ron and Harry face off. now remember, in wizard fencing you use only your wands and you can't touch the other person with anything but your wand. (A/N: hahaha how funny would that look? just imagine two teenage boys going hiya with foot long sticks lol) Now Harry attacks Ron, but Ron parries! Howver, Harry switches wand hands and hits Ron on the butt! thats gonna leave a mark! Then as Ron clutches his derrier Harry strikes again and again! Snaps to Harry! aaaaaaaaaaaand Ron is dowwwwwwwwwn! Harry wins! the crowd goes wild! yaaaaaaay!

---commentary ends--------

anyway, so Ron's mad. Really mad. As Harry reaches down for Ron's hand to help him up, Ron casts Rictusempraat Harry, who is knocked unconsious.

Ron,insanely: I WILL HAVE HERMIONE!

Ron then proceeds to knock all the guards out, grab Hermione (A/N: who apparently cant move lol), and run off deeper into the woods.

THE END. no, jk, hahahahaha. that would be a really stupid ending. lol. anyway, so when i was writing this i suddenly remembered: i havent put any magic in ! stupid, stupid stupid. o well. and i KNOW hermione hasnt said a thing about fencing in th first three chapters , but o well. sue me. i dont care. im just doing this for fun. and for my reviewers. i love them all. i will now copy a lot of other authors and needlessly answer all my reviewers. just because im bored.

zerolovr32: yes. i like the elves too. i actually picture VHPD as legolas-esque. but then again, he IS sorta the thing i think of when i think of elves. glad you liked it!

my nana: YAY! someone i knew read my story and liked it! and you liked my sence of humor! luv yoo!1

The Gryffindor Drummer: glad you thought so. heres the more you cant wait for. hehe

Claire me mate: okokokokokokok yes i can write! read on!

Machiavellism: i give you the 'i think like Ron' sticker. -sticks it on you- there you go!

veeuh: hahahahahha im answering my own comment on my story! lol im such a loser! bwahahahahaha

volleybabe: why thank you. i like my commentary too. thats why i put it on there. so ill keep writing and youll keep reading k?

sam: my first flame! thanks for the constructive criticism! though i didnt do a thing about it! bwahahahaha

ta! i really dont know much beyond whats gonna happen next other than a little bit, so give me ideas! read and review! lol maybe ill put in pirates or something hahaha. pirates of the carribbean crossover AND a lotr crosover? hahahalol. comment!


	6. Ch 6 Search and Rescue

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. Six

Search and Rescue

(A/N: ok, just to catch up with the main characters: Harry is knocked out; Ron is running away with Hermione, who is apparently helpless. Will Hermione allow Ron to continue with this madness? Read on and see!...lol sorry I had to write that last bit. Continue.)

Harry groaned and sat up, rubbing his head. His last memory was reaching out to help Ron up, then….blackness. He looked around, searching for his friends. There were a bunch of elves lying around, probably still unconscious. Ron and Hermione, however, were gone. Harry shook the nearest elf until he woke up.

Nearest elf: wha….?

Harry: What happened to Hermione? Where is she?

Nearest elf, groggily: My Lady ….was taken…by your friend, Ron…he ran…east I think…towards the ruins in the lake.

Harry, shaking the elf violently: What? Tell me more! Is she ok? Hello?

But the elf was unconscious again. Poor bugger. Hermione! He had to find her! What if Ron tried to…Harry couldn't think about what Ron would like to do. He shook his head. East, the elf said. Ok, so Harry would go east. Toward the ruins by the lake. So Harry strutted off determined to heroically save Hermione and by that win fair lady's heart. (A/N: hahahaha…sors)

Hermione groaned and tried to sit up, and tried to rub her head. (A/N: lol hahaha but you cannnnnnnnnnt biotch. Heeheehee) But why couldn't she move? BECAUSE SHE WAS TIED TO A TREE. What the…. Where was Harry to heroically save her from whoever took her….Ron! HE did this! But why? She looked around. She was facing a large lake with old-looking rock formations jutting out. And there was a ship near shore! And Ron was on shore talking to a strangely dressed man! Wait a minuite…this guy was a pirate! (A/N: lol I just love the way this story is going…elves…pirates…whats next? Tune in next time to see! Lol nvm. Continue.) Ron saw she was awake, and led the man over to where she was tied. The man looked handsome, in a piraty sort of way.

Ron, sneering: So, sleeping beauty finally decides to awake. Meet my pal Bob here, (Bob is like Jack Sparrow in my mind lol) he's a pirate if your smart brain hasn't figured out yet.

Bob the pirate: Yo. (A/N: hahaha you know how pirates say yo ho? So this one's kinda gangster. But just don't kill me ok im trying as hard as i can but sadly im not black so bear with me here. Lololol.) –To Ron- she's a pretty broad, her. You have a deal.

Hermione: Deal? What deal?

Ron: Well, your ladyship, after im done with you, Bob here has agreed to let me join their crew (A/N: hahaha sorry I just had to. Lol Ron the pirate. Hahaha) if I give you to them.

Hermione: after you're DONE with me?

Ron, sneering again: yes. You shall soon see the full extent of what I mean.

(A/N: dum dum dum)

Bob: well, yo homie better give da lady dee potion now yo.

(A/N: ok im having fun talking black im sure it's totally wrong but I really mean no offence to blacks. I actually wish I was black. They're naturally tan ;)))

Before Hermione could ask what the potion was, Ron pinched her nose and forced a strange liquid down her throat. Then blackness. (A/N: she gets passed out a lot lol)

Harry had run for hours after Ron's tracks going east. Finally, he heard voices ahead of him. He snuck close to listen.

(Conversation)

Voice de Bob: Yo man now you got yo way with da lady now. Have fun wit hurr if ya know what I means… (chuckles) (A/N: lol…a chuckling pirate…)

Voice de Ron: Yes, but I still feel kinda guilty just leaving her to a bunch of older men. I mean, she never did nothing to you. Why can't she return to the school?

Voice de Bob: she never did nothing but be sexy and beautiful. For that she will never return. Or if she does, you won't. You dig, yo?

Before Ron replied, Harry circled around them and ran towards the still unconscious Hermione. He clamped a hand around her mouth as he woke her and started untying her from the tree. Then they both climbed into a nearby tree and hid until they heard Ron and Bob return to the beach to find she wasn't there.

Ron: No! She can't be gone! She's MINE! I WILL HAVE HER!

Bob: You better find her by nightfall or da deal be off. And so will you. Off to whatever fiery part of hell you're bound.

Ron: I'll find her. She can't have gone far.

Harry and Hermione sat soundless in the tree until Bob went back to his ship and Ron into the forest. They had to escape. And maybe this time, leave their friend behind.

Hm. Interesting chapter. I really do have a plot for this don't worry. I do. Really. It's just kinda slow. So deal. Or read something else. There's plenty other ficts out there. Plz read and review I love advice or praise or anything!

Now, for the responses to my lovely reviewers whom I love and adore:

Machiavelliam: I know Ron isn't sexy..hes a sicko perv. Yes im mean. But keep reading anyway, cuz I know you cant resist my sexiness. Lol.

The Gryffindor Drummer: why thank you. I try.

Primrosefay: glad you like it. But I like the script format. It stays. Sorry. And yes, I do rock. Thanks for noticing.

Im an LDS RubberBand: you laugh too much. But I guess that's still a complement. Nice name, btw.

Mysteriouscharm: yes I am continuing as I prove by this chapter.

GothMayhem: What you guess is what may come….

Volleybabe: why, yes, I do believe that was the best fencing thing I ever described. Also my first. yes Harrys okay. I wont say more


	7. Ch 7 Roxanne

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. Seven

Roxanne

A Song CHAPTER, ah yes im brilliant.

Credits go to Le Tango de Roxanne from Moulin Rouge

_Will drive you!_

_Will drive you!_

_Will drive you!_

_MAD!_

: Ron's head:

She….is…mine…but no, she likes that pretty boy harry. But I WILL HAVE HER!

This last part he yelled. Into the forest. VERY loud.

No surprise that Harry and Hermione heard him.

: Up in some tree:

Harry wakes up in some tree. He looks around. Where's Hermione? Ah, but here's a note! (With impeccable handwriting!) (A/N: hahaha. Im sorry. Really. Im tired.)

: Note with impeccable handwriting:

_Harry,_

_Ron's been yelling into the forest for hours for me. I HAVE to go to him, Harry. If I don't, I'm afraid he will follow us to Hogwarts and make an even bigger fool of himself. I just want you to know that I love you very much and please don't get jealous. It's for the good of us all. Please don't be mad I didn't tell you. You would have just stopped me._

_Love,_

_Hermione♥_

: Back into the Tree:

To put it nicely, Harry spent about ten minutes spewing ungracious words and sounding very angsty indeed.

'Well, time to go save Hermione' he thought to himself. 'AGAIN.'

_Roxanne_

_You don't have to put on that red light_

_Walk the streets for money_

_You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right_

_Roxanne_

_You don't have to wear that dress tonight_

_Roxanne_

_You don't have to sell your body to the night_

(A/N: ok, so it doesn't fit PERFECTLY to my story, so sue me. I like it.)

: Ron's little camp thing:

'Aww, he looks so cute when he's not raging over my beauty' thought Hermione. And it was true. Kinda. Ron sat in his camp, just slumped over a log, looking exhausted. But he was all sweaty which kinda took away from the charm. Hermione took a deep breath and walked over to him.

"Ron, you look hot"

: Back to the tree, Harry mulling:

_His eyes upon your face_

_His hand upon your hand_

_His lips caress your skin_

_It's more than I can stand!_

Hermione said not to be jealous. So I shouldn't be. Really. And she loves me! So I'll get her. After Ron. Darggg!

_Why does my heart cry?_

_Feelings I can't fight!_

_You're free to leave me but_

_Just don't deceive me_

_And please believe me when I say_

_I LOVE YOU!_

(A/N: the song does go on, but it just repeats and I think I got the general message across. Continue.)

I WILL go after Hermione. And save her. From Ron. (dum dum dum!)

: THE CAMP:

So Harry goes over to the camp, and he finds all the pirates watching and hooting at a grisly scene. Harry looks. Hermione is half clothed, and runs all around the camp, trying to evade (A/N: ooh wordly wise!) Ron. So Harry gets really mad and crazy and starts shooting spells everywhere. Then a particularly nasty spell makes a lot of smoke, and then there is silence.

: Hermione's head:

Oh…my…god. Am I dead? I'm dead I'm so dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead. Ron's killed me. Somehow. Agggh! I can't see!

: Harry's head:

Oh…my...god. Is Hermione dead? She's dead she's so dead she's dead she's dead she's dead. I've killed her. Somehow. Agggh! I can't see!

(A/N: haha sors I just had to. Couldn't resist. It's just so cute. Ok ok continue.)

: THE CAMP:

The smoke cleared. And the small amount of people stared at the destruction that Harry did.

Whew

Im sorry I didn't update. I just didn't feel like it. And also I was thinking up the end of this annnnnnnnnnnnd the plotline for the sequel which will be called Perfect Opposites and is coming soon!

And now I will not answer any of my comments as ive forgotten which I have already answered.

Comment! Or review whichever you prefer.

laura, almost 15, charming but insane

(I KNOW IT'S A BOOK YOU BUTTHEAD)


	8. Ch 8 An Ending

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Harry Potter. Then I would be sitting somewhere in London laughing hysterically at people's pathetic attempts at writing. But I don't and I'm not. The world is so unfair. The weak plot is mine though. It's from one of my dreams. Steal it and you die.

Ch. Eight

An Ending

:The CAMP:

The Smoke cleared. Hermione looked around. Oh…my…gosh…What happened? All the pirates were sprawled crookedly around the clearing, bodies in positions they were never meant to be in. Only Bob looked alive, but he had turned a weird shade of purple and was running around in circles. But the one body that caught her eye was………..

Ron.

_RON!_

Then she saw Harry walking towards her, his eyes on Ron. Then he looked coldly at Hermione.

"This…is all YOUR fault." Harry said with clenched teeth.

It was all Hermione could do not to cry.

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The walk back to the castle was uneventful. Harry lifted Ron's body and was levitating him all the way back to Hogwarts. He just left the pirates there.

Hogwarts. It seemed like a whole other world to Hermione now. There was no more Ron. Hermione cried, knowing that the Golden Trio would never be again.

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:A month later, Hermione's head:

Sigh. Another day with no one talking to me, another hour with Harry ignoring everyone, another weekend with the elves, another minute without any company.

See, I've been visiting the elves and finding out about my real parents. The elves even took pity on me and gave the throne to VHPD so I could go back to school. My parents left me with the Grangers because they were murdered and they knew it was coming, so they wanted me out of the way. It is sad to never know your parents. Just like Harry. If only he would talk to me.

Now, there is this new exchange student, however. His name is Josh. I wonder if we can become friends….

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Look for the new sequel coming soon: Perfect Opposites! Includes dying, flirting, raping, love, jealousy, sluts, suicide, mayhaps some gayness, and all that good stuff. Stay tuned and review!

Mwahahaha

Lovelove laura


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